eek

right. erm. yes. well.. appologies to everyone. luckily no one needs them really as they didn't get subjected to the force of my going wobbly over a number of days. Mainly bloody family being bloody family and particularly stuff that I'm not alowed to say being bloody annoying. I will say this: I got my french amended grade in the post from administration man (the ysgol Pantycelyn superhero, so exciting someone might forget their name for a second). I've got EXACTLY an A: 480marks out of 600. It's well good enough for me, and for the first time, I really feel I deserve those extra 8 marks, whatever the hell stories the world has...
ANYWAY.. before I get bitter and selfish and start to feel sick and dizzy again let's get on to brighter things!
WELL haven't I been busy eh? I've been working much with pancakes, getting all greasy and fat (SO much fun, what what?) and being flirted with lots by men who "want to buy a crepe" (har har) but are nonetheless good for tips. god knows why, I look awful most of the time, but if it's earning me an extra £1 a day.. who am I to complain?
Edinburgh life is making me increasingly paranoid. I made friends with some charity workers who were outside my trailer all day monday and were very friendly and nice. as I left for home they told me they'd keep working until they had 3names (people giving money) each, and would move on to princes st. if they didn't by aout 6pm. Later that night, for my own interesting and dark reasons, I had to go along princes street, and there was absolutely NO question that, although it was much later and horrible wet rainy weather and they'd all had almost all the people they needed, that I'd meet them coming home. and I did. urgh. I sometimes feel I'm a character in a novel, everything works out so neatly here. though if I am, i'm not the main character, or it's a bit where they say "for the next few months she lived in edinburgh" then gets on to an interesting bit involving other people, aliens, flesh eating zombies, dashing young men, mermaids, intergalactic space travel or any combination of more interesting and worthwhile material. So yes, paranoia.
I feel all grown up today too, it's my first week-day off since I've been back so I've been doing week day things and I've just got a library card! SO cool!, like they have free stuff here and everything, it's well wicked. I've borrowed 'silas marner' and a book about TEFL, and I'm using the hour long free internet facilities as we speak. I'm also thinking aobout going to walk up a hill later, and then maybe I'll go to the cinema.
yes, alone. yes it's my fault and I'm stupid not to just walk out on the street and make friends with the first person I meet. so slap me. I have been invited to a flat party on saturday night. it'll be full of very ordinary french people, but it's better than nothing. unlike students, I don't just have friends ready and waiting to be friends. I am trying my best withing the best of my very poor ability to meet people, and with time...
I'm rabling. shut up emily.
I'm looking at volunteering opportnities here too. I'm not really doing anyone much good at the moment, so.. yeah. and maybe I can find another job, because although crepes are yummy and the money's OK, it's a lonely existance. and everyone (including him) thinks I fancy the(temporary) manager, Julien, which is keeping me amused but can make things a little awkward. But he's very friendly and has a reasonable taste in music - despite apparently liking robbie williams - and is nice to homeless people. heh.
anyway, I must be getting on, I'm looking up things to fill my ..two months left: TEFL course (?) driving lessons, volunteering, other jobs.. oh he fun never ends in edinburgh. especially as I'll be bound to get a job that is in some way completely conincidentally linked to some other aspect of my life. I already suspect that Alex, my temporary flatmate's boyfriend is a flatmate of one of my dodgy customers from monday. and he'll most likely be at the party on saturday. hooray.