well then, hello there to all you people out there in computer land.
and a special hello to anyone from mpyt who has been searching for 'watership down' and 'mpyt', or whichever combination, and has come upon this little site, if there is anyone still doing that. I have had two people mention it to me already.
It's quite scary actually, like being watched. I always imagined that no one really reads this, then suddenly unexpected people turn up. it's nice though. especially since they're such lovely unexpected people!
by the way, charlotte's blog is www.orangoutangsberet.blogspot.com - it's generally more user friendly, and, in my oppinion, more interesting.
I also feel quite conceited assuming people will read this, but then if they don't no one will know that I'm saying this, will they?, except for my faithful regulars that exist mainly in my own mind...
tee hee, it's that lovely and totally non-understandable state of mind again brought about by being too tired, and being deprived of anyone under the age of 24 to talk to, and so just not bothering to write in any sort of comprehensible way.
god I miss people. soo much. just people in general and some people in particular. I wish I could stop missing people and thinking about people and actually get down to some work for a change, but it's just so much nicer being with people.
I should be talking about serious topics, because they're always more interesting to read.
erm..
well...
oh I heard from that most wonderful of higher education establishments, Sussex university! hooray! so now I have a 300mile train journey to look forward to sometime in the future. just what I always wanted.
but I also have an unplanned gap year!! it's so exciting to have a whole year to do anything. because so far in life, speaking as a last-year-of-school-type-person, there has been nothing but education to look forward to. that is, formal education. every year you know that while next year will be different, it will also be much the same, and so on, the future will be school, then, if you're so inclined, university, and now the prospect of an entire year sans english, maths, teachers, school rules etc [english and maths meaning generally compulsory lessons, though maybe I'll get through a year without english alltogether. that would be an amusing and pointless but frankly annoying challenge] seems quite crazy and almost unimagineable.
I have a lot to say on this subject, such as how if you have academic potential, it's the annoying truth that it's really hard not to try and fulfil it. what if I really did run away from school and become an actor or even a writer or something. I think that in many ways it could be the best descision of my life, but it's really unimagineable. I must finish my a levels because I can. I must go to university because I can. I want to too - don't get me wrong - but it's a sort of obligation type feeling more than a real desire, while there are those for whom the system doesn't work who would love to be in my situation - being able to get a place in almost any university of my choice.
I hate saying that it sounds really big headed, but going back to the point about 'the system': academic potential I called it earlier, it is not being clever or having brains, it is learning a method of working "what they want" whoever 'they' is. the examiners, the teachers, the interviewers, the people who will read you ucas form or job aplication...
it is mostly guess work. that is my secret anyway, gather a few facts, guess a little and usually you will get out on top, as long as you know which way to guess - what they want you to say.
and it does get boring.
and if you then find yourself in a position where you don't know what they want, or when what they want is different from what you're used to, then you're stuck. it's totally useless to any real life situation in fact.
isn't school great.
erm... I think I was leading to a point but I forget what it is and my own writing is boring me terribly, so I find it unlikely that anyone has actually read this far... and if I carry on it's likely that the incomprehensibility of my words will slowly start to drip or sink to the bottom of the page and form into some sort of weird and sticky goo. I don't know why, that's just the image I seem to have of it in my head. I was going to continue the story of the goo, but I think this post has been long enough.
much love to anyone brave enough to venture this far into my blog, and hugs to any of those nice mpyt-y people who I love so much xx
tee hee, it's only half past ten