The right thing…
Charl, Danny and Beth have just left to go to London to see cake playing tonight.
I should have gone too, but I thought I ought to go to see dad, as I’ve missed many weekends already and I thought that it would be the Right Thing to do.
I keep being told that he wouldn’t mind, but I thought it would be good to do the right thing, to make someone else feel good and to be nice, but it seems that isn’t good enough. I’m craving friendly company and one of the things I’d like the most would be to spend the day today, tonight and tomorrow doing something different and interesting with friends, but I decided to do what I felt was right, and have been persuading myself that it wouldn’t be so bad, that I’d get things done and rest.
But now it appears I made the wrong decision. Again.
I just don’t know what I can do that’s right now. I feel crap because I haven’t gone, I’m missing out and people who said I should go are annoyed with me. But I just couldn’t bring myself to tell dad that I wasn’t coming.
Why can’t we please everyone? At this moment I wouldn’t mind if I wasn’t pleasing myself because it would be pretty much good enough if I could please everyone else.

Or just go to mpyt. *sigh*. I keep dreaming about all those lovely people. I’d give almost anything to be back at the beginning of tech week and have those two gorgeous, heavenly weeks ahead of me again.
Tuesday can’t come soon enough.

[please note, this is only depressive because I'm on the very bottom of one of my lows. hopefully I'll swing back up again and be jolly and laughing by the end of the day. *sigh* it must be nice to be able to sustain a good mood for more than a few hours...]