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yes, it's the same day and no, this won't be about globalisation. you will have to wait for that, I'm afraid

just trying to work something out in my head, it's kind of selfish thoughts, but meh. I've been at the folk society meet with lucy and we were talking about it a bit and, combined with other things, has left me feeling confused and perhaps not as joyous as I was earlier when, having thought about someone all day, they texted me! it was nice and isn't the first time it's happened. Maybe it didn't come with heart-stopping suddeness as it has in the past, but it's still something that made me feel good.
this will pretty much be cryptic due to my weird attempts to work stuff out - in public- but not actually want to give out selfish details, so i'm hoping no one actually understands it.
but, well..
if you're not with a person, and they're with other people, does the relative relationships mean that your relationship is somehow lessened? if you see someone every day, you are going to know them better than someone who sees them maybe onece a month. even if the two people who see each other rarely have an officially closer friendship, what does it mean in comparison? it's one of the things that kill me (in a truly hyperbolic sense), since the people I see every day, who see how I'm feeling as every day passes, who come to know my daily triumphs and troubles, and who come to know and learn about their daily lives, are not actually the people who I adore and, although many of them are nice, they are not the people who I *want* to know me in such detail, and i'd rather know the detail of others' lives so minutely, rather than theirs.
so, does this spoil the relationship I have with the people whose lives I do want to know each detail of? and if I did, would it make things better or worse? would it change things at all? I mean, I like those people I adore no less because I don't see them every day, I just wish that I could see them more. so, I will be liked no less despite other people making and being friends with those around them, right?
so why does it still hurt? because of jealousy. because I want to live with and be around those people I already know and adore. and this probably stops me from wanting to be with and adore the people around me. because it feels like there is a limit to a person's love and if you like some people more, will you like others less? of course not. but.. if you don't contact people enough, you miss out on so much of their daily lives that you've actually missed out - a whole episode of their lives that did not relate to you, that you didn't know about. so, is it a different person that you will meet when you next see them? if you don't speak to a person for a week, and don't know what's happened to them in that time, what difference does it make to how well you know them? if you see a person every day and they tell you what they're thinking each day, what does that mean in relation? Being away from someone for a long time over an important period of change in one's life can change how you think about them, and change your relationship with them, but then it might not. you might despair in the loss of a friend because you have not had any contact with them for a half a year or more, and think that you may have missed out on so much of their lives that nothing will be the same, and you will feel differently about them, but usually, and ultimately, you are the same people if you do meet up. and you can get to know one another again. and things that might have been going to happen in the past might occur. so one shouldn't feel bad about other people being with the people one loves more often than one is, because although you're missing out, defenately, on things you might enjoy, it won't directly change your relationship immediately, necessarily.
maybe.
if I can just convince myself of the fact. that it doesn't matter.
or perhaps thinking too much is not such a good idea?
I agree