dit-moi..

well, I have two nice things to tell.
no, three.
no, four.
probably more. that's nice :) but four I can think of right now.
the first is that David Rovics is playing in edinburgh on monday the 28th of november in.. some pub or other, infirmary street! yay! he's also playing in glasgow the night before but I needn't go to that because of the secon nice thing which is:
Charl's coming up! wooo! saturday till monday evening, which is, well sort of lots of time :) :). anyway, I'm pleased.
the third nice thing is I got an letter from Ynysau Uchaf this morning, which is loverly, but i'm saving it till after work, so I haven't opened it yet-strong display of willpower.
and the fourth is I go a funny email from a master edward "bod" turtle this morning telling me i was a good cook for knowing how to put herbs and butter in baked beans. I think i was the same age as him when my brother came home from uni and showed me that trick. I thought much the same. heh, life is funny.

I also have a less than good thing to write. Ususally i'd leave good things till last to end on a positive note, but this is one of those things i'm afrai i'll ramble about for a while, so hopefully the top bit will be the bit that matters and the rest will be left to tail off in some obscure way.
anyway, I seem to have got myself in quite a mess with my manager concerning leaving. I sort of didn't tell him I was going until a few days ago and.. well.. it seems the entire staff are going home for christmas and he wants me to stay. in my stupidity I seem to have let him understand that it's because of a problem with the flat tha I am leving and he's trying to help me find a new one..
problem.
So anyway, i'm defenately not staying here a minute longer than I have to.. SO i'm going to try to once again abuse the "domestic problems" card, tell him my mum's got to go to court about her divorce, and that it's in december and I need to be there. This is very slightly true - she will have to go to court, but it's efenately not in december and I probably won't have to be there.. though that's only what mum says and we can't be sure.
so.. there it is. I don't feel too bad about playing this card so often.. I might as well reap the bnefits seeing as it's sort of slightly fucking me up on the delayed reaction kind of thing at the moment. I suppose one can't be completely unmoved by such things without paying for it a little somehow.
anyway, this has got me thinking further.. I once started a blog saying "i've ust been called a very honest person". the point was it was my mum who said that, and complared to her maybe I am, but I am NOT an honest person, I'm right deceptive and silly like that. i've been brought up to keep people happy, and if that means bending the truth so be it. I should really just start telling the truth and not be so bloody frightened of it all the time. the thing is, i think, that if you tell someone a lie, and they don't like you or are cross with you because of it, you can always tell yourself "well.. it was a lie so it doesn't matter", but the truth.. hurts (hah, me? cliches?? never!).
um, so anyway, that's it. I wish I was honest but i'm not. and I want to go hoommmeeee. or whatever passes for it. wales'd do. get away from this city I adore. and I do adore it here, it's lovely, but.. well it's lacking in certain things. like people who have half a brain.
humm, I think that's unfair. well.. people with a spark and good taste then. or maybe it's just that they're not the best people in the world.
ach well. we'll see. i'm off to brave my fate and lie to julian. I have my eyelash flashing black mascara on and slightly wobbly voice at the ready..

(oh, PS, I don't think I lie to my friends, except maybe about my secret life as a crime and aligator-fighting superhero, but that's meant to be secret, so I hope you'll understand ;) )