by the way... those little extra green arrows on the links menu that look like they're there by mistake and I don't know how to get rid of them are actually really extra special magic links that can only be accessed by really special people. are you special enough?

hang on, I should be saying how lucky I am, not only do I have a new Amelie double DVD (yann tiersen in surround sound... does it get any better?) BUT

I'm going to see simon and garfunkel live in hyde park on july the 15th!!

wow
and other words

I don't know where those little green arrows came from on the side bar, I'm sure they were black dots earlier..
and I don't have titles on this one. I'm sure I could if I messed around with the template enough but I can't be bothered, and though I'm picking it up I still have a lot to learn.
oh what joy work is. I will have to be a teacher, I don't think i'll survive 9 to five days, at least not in an office. dull dull dull. and I haven't had a chance to rest after exams, while most other people did, but us poor maths sufferers had to sit an awful paper then go straight to work exp. after spending the weekend revising (or should have been). how full of woes (N.B. this is sarcastic)
well... I ended up doing today what I did on tuesday, publicising an event by walking round town, but at least I got rid of all my posters this time.
I have been a good girl this week, I have been more or less sociable and asked questions instead of stitting there feeling stupid. I have done exercse by walking up a near vertical hill every morning and afternoon, I have done things I wouldn't usually have done and didn't really want to do, but since it was the politest option (eating curry basically). talk about pushing your comfort zones! I should really have gone to this weird performance tonight... perhaps I should explain.
I was working for the centre for performance research. they mostly sell books and do research but they have on at the moment a summer school with different workshops each week. this week there was something weird which I explained before (with all the people) and tonight they were going to perform a little of the weird stuff they had done, but I didn;t really feel like watching beacues I'd seen what they did and it was all a bit random to me. but perhaps I've earned it? though I have little relaxing to do this weekend, but the idea of having nothing to do should be a welcome break... then back to school!
talking about comfort zones, I have quarter of a mind to do the sax course again this year, but I don't really want to. I'd like to do something, and that could be fun, but I know that it wasn't half as good last year as I thought and I don't really want to get stuck with a group of near-proffessionals again. I really just want something I can do, and learn from, but it would be great, for a change, to be reasonably and confidently sure of what i'm doing... I just want to have DONE something and not...sat at home all the time, but there's no one to do anything with at any rate and I get tired of doing things on my own. if it were possible I'd do MYPT summer school but it won't be possible.
oh well.

links not perfect but working at last! to be improved but not now (it's midnight plus and sleep is needed)

well, I succumbed to the inevitable. but I stil don't seem to get the links working, though a little effort may do the job.
I shouldn't be on the computer, i've been on it most of the morining, watching little videos of CPR (centre for performance research)'s summer school and taking stills. then we did some filming of this year's summer school which was cool but the direcor-y people were rather too full of themselves and thought they and their group were better than everyone ever, which was not really true since most of the stuff they did was a bit too random, though defenately interesting. to begin with all 11 (I think) of the actor-y people walked round the museum, mostly scareing people, though that wasn't the intension. the costumes were cool, there was:
a woman with all blood round her mouth and brown stains down her top
a woman with male-tpe trousers and braces and a cool hat (michael-jackson y though i'm not sure why)
A woman waring a raincoat and wellies (and nothing else)
A woman in sort of teenager type clothing
a man with a woman's one strap top on
a man with a weird fake moustache (drooping)
a woman with just a nightie
a woman all in black with a balaklava
a man with nothing very notable on, except his shirt did have cowboys on..
a man with a written on t shirt saying things about america
a woman in a red dress with red writing all over her
a woman with a black dress carrying white wings
that's twelve and it feels like there were more...
anyway it was interesting. and i've been using an apple computer anyway which was cool but comfusing. damned microsoft and its ways of making you used to it.
and listening to jo wiley trying to be cool about glastonbury, though one gets the feeling she's not even got a whiff of the real meaning of it for most people and will be making slightly nervous jokes about smoke and people behaving strangely for the rest of the week. thank god it's not essential to listen.
and i impressed people with my knowledge of the red hot chilli peppers, in that they're in cardiff...damn it, is it tonight. I hope so. well it doesn't really make any difference.
enjoy the nice pretty colours childen

ohhhh should I?
there are options for numerous blog templates, all of which have the mod cons, like links sections etc. should I ditch my slightly more unique though not hi-tech or smothed looking blog template for something more interesting. should I rather bear these ills...?
life is full of choices, and this one needs long and painful discussion.
work exp. going ok. three more days, everyone friendly, nice, though frankly I can't wait till it's over and I can have a rest, even if we are filming in the castle tomorrow.

www.highfantastical.blogspot.com

if anyone could reply to this I would ask for guidance on my dilemma. suggestions?

the disjointed and minaly uncomprehensible rmablings of a preoccupied and guilty mind

has blogger changed or is it because i'm on a different computer? hmm

gosh, aren't things odd. no, I mean it things i suppose means people and relationships at the moment... well it doesn't really but I feel like writing about them and needed an introduction.
relationships are sooooooooo strange. i've been looking at photos of my parents' wedding.. (a bit odd because they divorced when I was three). it's the thirtyeth aniversary this year (from 1974) though will not be recognised in any way. i don't know what time or year though. but thirty years... it's a long time and they've only been divorced for about 14/15 years... which means they were married for at least ten
which is a considerable time really... i always thought that the relationship must have been a 'flop' or something, but it kept going for a decade at least so something must have been right. it's nice to think of them happily married, I wish I could remember something about it. since I don't really remember anything much untill a few years after the divorce i'm always worried that there's something important that I don't know... though i don't know what. if there is something i'd rather not know, it's nice to have a happy picture.
on a slightly related topic...
I have to keep reminding myself that life has no rules. (have i 'done' this bit before?)
people think that things aren't fair... but compared to what? because you like someone loads doesn't mean they have to like you back, .either there's no destiny in love/marriage, or whoever is in control of it works damn hard, since so many people meet an both like each other. but then how muh unrequited love is there around that we don't know about?
I always thought that if anyone asked me out i'd be so touched that they actually liked me i'd have to say yes. i'm sort of pleased to have been proved wrong. yet I still can't understand when you see women turning down men who obviously love them with a passion (films mostly so i suppose the belief faculties can be running a little thin). my trouble is I want independnce but still someone who has power over me (think that glamarous wedding-type carry...sigh).
well i'd beter stop before this gets so cryptic that it's in some other language or something. this does make snese, if you have my mind, though i beg that you don't come and get it right now..
see you all later