the disjointed and minaly uncomprehensible rmablings of a preoccupied and guilty mind

has blogger changed or is it because i'm on a different computer? hmm

gosh, aren't things odd. no, I mean it things i suppose means people and relationships at the moment... well it doesn't really but I feel like writing about them and needed an introduction.
relationships are sooooooooo strange. i've been looking at photos of my parents' wedding.. (a bit odd because they divorced when I was three). it's the thirtyeth aniversary this year (from 1974) though will not be recognised in any way. i don't know what time or year though. but thirty years... it's a long time and they've only been divorced for about 14/15 years... which means they were married for at least ten
which is a considerable time really... i always thought that the relationship must have been a 'flop' or something, but it kept going for a decade at least so something must have been right. it's nice to think of them happily married, I wish I could remember something about it. since I don't really remember anything much untill a few years after the divorce i'm always worried that there's something important that I don't know... though i don't know what. if there is something i'd rather not know, it's nice to have a happy picture.
on a slightly related topic...
I have to keep reminding myself that life has no rules. (have i 'done' this bit before?)
people think that things aren't fair... but compared to what? because you like someone loads doesn't mean they have to like you back, .either there's no destiny in love/marriage, or whoever is in control of it works damn hard, since so many people meet an both like each other. but then how muh unrequited love is there around that we don't know about?
I always thought that if anyone asked me out i'd be so touched that they actually liked me i'd have to say yes. i'm sort of pleased to have been proved wrong. yet I still can't understand when you see women turning down men who obviously love them with a passion (films mostly so i suppose the belief faculties can be running a little thin). my trouble is I want independnce but still someone who has power over me (think that glamarous wedding-type carry...sigh).
well i'd beter stop before this gets so cryptic that it's in some other language or something. this does make snese, if you have my mind, though i beg that you don't come and get it right now..
see you all later