ohh... I've just been talking to the most groovyest of ralphs and he wasn't happy. I don't like this fact - but he was also moaning that people kept telling him to be happy. why do we do this I wonder? is it out of guilt or just not wanting other people to feel bad? and anyway I'm sure it's healthy to feel bad occasionally. we can't be jolly all the time. in fact charl said once that people don't like you as much if you always seem to be happy. you need to get it out then you can get back to feeling just jolly. but then again, we don't like to see others suffer.
hmm.
anyway I'd love to go into more detail but bryony wants to be online and i'm feeling bad 'cause i have been on for a while.
damn dependance. WHY can't i have something to offer people? I want to be able to help too! I want some control over my life and some way of being grateful more than just saying 'thanks' I feel soo helpless. but in the meanwhile - great thanks to everyone! I really mean this deeply. it's all I have to offer at the moment but if I could I'd offer more. keep smiling (when you want to of course - and even when not it's healthy for you. the odd giggle, even forced, can make big changes so have a giggle. think of... oh i don't know small animals wearing string vests while eating mini chocolate eclaires or whatever else makes you laugh.
so much love, so few ways of showing it (and damn shyness tends to get in the way too - grr)
xxx