i find that i just always want to be part of something... like... well it's hard to explain.. well. if something's popular and going on for a bit, and no one really thinks about who's doing it... i like that. it's sort of like newspapers except all the journalists are sort of famous now (in london anyway), but i don't want that. i think it would be cool to be doing something and no one knows it's you but everyone's talking about it...
if anyone's read 'the truth' (TP) you might know what i'm talking about a bit. it's just so much more interesting to be part of something rather than to be an outsider... i don't know wh exactly, but i suppose you don't always have to (though of course sometimes you have to do things that you don't have to). that's why i want to be a teacher i think, because education and schools takes up such a large part of the running of the country... like holliday prices are modelled around it and all sorts of other things and i just don't want to be an outsider. that's not that i want to go with the flow, only i don't like being one of the many who just watch it happen and are affected by it a bit, i want to be one of the few who are in it and do the effecting, if that makes sense. i like to be different. (most people reading this should already know that, or i hope so anyway..) though of course i do want to pass on knowledge and help people too, not just be different. it's just there's so many people living boring normal lives and i want to be part of something at least. if possible something big, but not be known for it... like write a really popular book and no one knows who i am (like that lemony snicket fellow, who i personally think is a bit of an idiot)or... well something else. when people talk to you about you, not knowing oit's you... like saying to you "that [editor/writor/something else] is so [something]" when the [editor/writor/something else] is you... if you get the idea. it would be sooooo cool. but i don't think it would happen/ though i like the idea of having lots of jobs. like there was this man counting fish in our river and before that he was something... then he lied and said he could do stonemasonary and got a job as a stone mason. i think that is soo cool, thouhg i don't think i'd ever do it. though i really should work to be like those people who i want to be like, but more on that another day perhaps.
right, that's my ramble for the day at least. live life in luxury, that's what it's for. or mabe not...