:)

right if you read anything here before, forget it... apparently the new adress will be www.teenforum.org.uk i don't know why it just will be soon. as from tomorow i think. complete pointlessness.

if you like this, or even if you don't you'll probably like www.orangoutangsberet.blogspot.com ... it's by someone else!

I've never realised how much excercise playgrounds are. (nor has charlotte, who will probably be telling these exact same sentiments in her soon to be created blogger. i'd just like to say - ha. i got there first) Having had a listening music exam in the morning which lasted less than two hours, i had the afternoon free so we (charl and i) decided to go to the park in loandovery. (notes for strangers: charlotte... some person , llandovery... a town. enough detail?) and went on the swings and some other things. It is widely aknowledged that swinging requires long flowing dresses and pretty sunlight flowing gracefully through high leafy treetops, that are far too leafy to let that aomunt of sunlight through and ... tacky looking sets and leaves that look like they're made of fabric because they are.... but anyway, pretty flowing dresses are essential. and i like having long flowing hair so when you go low on the swing you can get lots of stuff stuck in it and have to brush it out, like twigs, then a spare cigerette but sets it on fire and you get a whole new look
is life not fun...

revision: don't you hate it. today i have watched some complete rubbish on the television in volving an old version of some film to do with the nights of the round table which had definate pre-echoes of the monty python film. they must have watched it. probably avioding doing any work. the worst thing is is then, whatever i do i keep thinking i should be revising and i have enough permanent guilt as it is. i just can not revise at certain times. it was almost physically impossible for me to get up and do some work. is it because i roughly know everything already or because there is not enough pressure. proberly the latter but with a day to go before the first exam it seems odd. i think my main problem is, and it i going to be hard to explain without sounding snobbish, this: i like praise for hard work and i feel the best sort of praise is when it comes from surprise, i.e. 'gosh that WAS good, well done" rather than the "I'm not surprised". i know that everyone is expecting me to do very well, certain people expecting A*s all round, which i hate because i don't think i can live up to those kinds of expectations. i know that if i do, all anyone will say is "oh, i'm not surprised" and if i don't they'll say "oh dear..." i'm not trying to get sympathy, and i know it's an awful lot harder if you have to work very hard to get a C or below. i will or should get complaints for saying this, but the thing is, weather it's true or not, it's how i see things which is what effects me. also i have been told that i should be doing the exams or myself not othe people, but i think that i've got similar feelings to 'other peolpe' ie. if i do well i won't be too surprised (no snobbery intended) but if i don't i won't be happy. all the conclusions i can draw from this is that i really do hate revision and i will spend the next five weeks, as well as for several weeks afterwards, feeling immensely guilty that i am not/have not/ did not do enough revision oh dear i think i am a lost cause and am also incredibly selfish dedicationg whole posts on my own blogger about myself. more interesting fantasies next time perhaps, or a description of my exam days. i would post my 2,600 word report about my second to last day of school but there's a danger that people from school would read it....

This will never be as good as the first. Anyway. Hello my very own blogger. As this was an impulse thing I have nothing planned to say and starting this just before the middle of my life threatening exams is not a good plan but perhaps it will prove to be a mindless piece of escapism. For any strangers (though I’m not expecting strangers to read this) a quick introduction:
Name: Emily
Address: Not telling you
That’s enough now on to the writing.
It’s night time. Justifiably by now I think, as it’s now 20 past 11. When I started the first version it was ten to. I can never work out when night starts and ends as if guests come over ‘for the evening’ they can stay tilll at least ten or eleven o clock pm. But doesn’t the morning start after midnight as in 1am? I hope so as starting the day in the night seems a strangely depressing metaphor.

But then again I do love night. Twilight in particular as it is the time when it is dark enough to render familiar landscapes almost unrecognisable but not too dark to see. The nicest time is when it’s just dusk and the dew is starting to form on the grass and it sticks to your socks.
Last week I had a really lovely evening out in the rain. First I will set the scene: I live in the country, over the road from our field. It has a baby orchard and teenage forest as well as a resident forest that has been there for many years and runs alongside the river bran, but never wins. The bran is quite big and is always changing, almost from day to day.

Anyway that day I was walking around and getting very wet in the rain and it was a really gorgeous feeling. It was only just raining but not too little to be called drizzle which I feel is a sort of onomatopea, as drizzle is so weak and frankly pointless. It won’t get you suitably wet but is not dry. Everything was green, even the air and the birds were happily swearing at each other in the trees. The trees were also raining but were doing it in the way that trees usually do which makes them seem a bit slower than the rain as they drop their collected water in chinks. They seem to have missed the idea that rain is supposed to fall evenly and try to do it in the most conservative and energy and time saving way possible by dropping large drops with lots of water in in one place. This means that the drip spends as little time in the air as possible. Very logical, but then I’ve always said that about trees, they’re very logical but have no sense of romance. Which is odd since so many of them live in such close-knit communities.

Also have you noticed how rain only feels really cold when you go inside into the warm houses. We are so lucky now that we have the benefit of warm houses and appliances that tell us how bad nature is and that we do not need it. Nuts to them, as they say.
The spring is a really lovely time of year I think and when I die I’d like it to be in the spring if possible as there is so much new life around. I actually prefer the autumn but that’s just me and my rain obsession I think. I like it a lot. Unnaturally I think as most people seem to hate it and can get depressed but I think we all need a good flood now and then. Within reason of course. As long as you can control it it’s ok but if you let it get out of control it can cost you £thousands a day, so just be careful you don’t get addicted. Perhaps I’ll rant about autumn some other time. It’s now half eleven and I’ll have to spell check this before posting it.

I’m afraid not all my posts will be as interesting or imaginative as this, mostly as 1. I have little time at the moment and 2. I am rarely in a creative mood. Just for a little publicity in a new blogger please go to: www.phpbb.uklinux.net/phpBB2
www.welcometothedesertofthereal.blogspot.com and www.childsend.blogspot.com
well, if you want to. The first is the most understandable I think.

dont't you just hate computers. i spent over 15 mins typing up a really nice thing about stuff and the computer hung and lost it all. i will start again. in word. wait for updates.