a pox an all examiners and their damnèd work

oh and by the way... if amber evergets to read this for some reason... I don't dislike her... it's either jealousy or low self confidence. i admire those with the abilities do do that kind of think, and bear no ill feeling

oh deary me.
I am left with a kind of sickening drop in confidence once again.
I just got an email from a very kind girl called amber, who has just gotten into cambridge university, and my dad knows her mum so it's been arranges that we can email/talk and she can give me info and tips on oxbridge applications.
she is officially gifted, but still it gives me little comfort when she talks xtensively of knowing worsworth poems, saying how the poem of a non poet can be identified because "rhythm of this fake one was not rolling sound in earth's diurnal core".
what does diurnal mean? and many other things, while I am accused of being good at english because I have the ability to describe a hilltop, and to begin essays with the word 'while...' .
i could put it down to the fact that i had a teacher in primary school who barely spoke english, and an english teacher in secondary for 2and1/2 years who barely spoke at all because he was sleeping.
but it isn't that, and it isn't that we had to read welsh books every fortnight for the first three years of secondary school either. If I cared enough I would know all these things, and not have spent half my life reading terry pratchett, but would actually enjoy jane austen, virginia wolf and those bronte women, despite the lack of interesting writing and soppy plots (though even there i'm a little hazy, i got bored of virginia wolf and two brontes in a few pages... *sigh* how uneducated and oafish i am.
i'm going to post this before I lose interest
I want to go to bed
zzzzzzzz